The First Time

Malady of the day: coxa saltans. My right hip just popped something awful. This is the third time that I’ve experienced a hip subluxation that was this painful.

The first time, I was 19 and at a hotel called The Big Texan in Amarillo, TX. There were saloon-style doors in the bathroom. It was around the time that I helped my then boyfriend write a song called “Waking Up Beside You.”

You never forget the first time … that you experience coxa saltans. That’s the fancy term for snapping hip/partial dislocation of the hip. I mean my hip does pop all the time, but what happened when I was 19 (and today), was a terrible pop with radiating pain followed by a feeling like me leg was going to fall off. That first time, I actually screamed.

Today, I was sitting when it happened. It was so loud! Thankfully, my partner was with me and helped me ice and get into a better supported position. Now, I’m in less pain, but my hip is weak and very sore.

Subluxations happen to me every day. Multiple times a day. I’m accustomed to a twinge and brief thought of, “Oh! Fuck! That hurt!” Then I carry on. Sometimes I fall. Other times, I drop things. It’s just what happens when one has a connective tissue disorder. But you always remember that first time.